It’s unreal.

 When I initially started this blog I was maybe but 21 or 22 as a creative person who drew in class I was never or rarely surrounded by what at that time was the “popular crowd”.

I always had so many ambitions, thoughts hopes etc. many events occurred from when I stopped posting here to the present. 

I flew internationally for the first time to meet other urban sketchers who are world renowned and have published books etc. My hope was to learn what I needed to sustain a simple life with or through art.

Little did I realize many of these artists I have followed for years would tell me they were architects, engineers, marketing executives… (this was prior toward the social media boom).

I came back to my small farm town and well my three year relationship ended, and I landed myself as the friend of four who slept on a couch…

I took the money I’d spend to live by myself and invested in a comercial space that I turned into a storage and studio space.

I met a young woman who saw interest in me and what I was doing, which later became a relationship. At one point I looked at what I invested in my art studio va her brand new car. The car got us to work and back grocery trips and though she let me use it to pick her up from work (we both worked as PSDs so we would work 36 hour shifts without returning home) I saw she paid payments, insurance on the car and I was spending basically the same for an over glorified man cave….

How do I make this cave provide.

I figured start with maybe an art show to sell art maybe every few months. Possibly a class but who am I to teach others. 

In turn I started a figure drawing night which I planned once a month maybe twice due to those interested having schedule conflicts.

Wow 

It led into a solo art show nearly each month, as the gallery owner I determined how to display and where to place the works for the artist to best present their work. The monthly bimonthlyfigure drawing nights became weekly.

I invested so much time and effort into this endeavor as I simultaneously worked two full time jobs that my relationship collapsed because she was 20 I was 24 and all my thoughts were “if I run things like this and ask this much is that too expensive how can I make things cheaper.

I was invisioning  A nearly 20 year plan, every 5-7 years change buildings do some Reno to an old abandoned building which hasn’t been used in my history for nearly 5-10 years and use a space to expand. While ultimately developing into a facility that would provide artist studio space, classes and workshops along with gallery and art show events and ideally an after school and summer program for children in a small town which while I grew up the most ya had was sports drugs and alcohol or ya worked the farm because that’s what the family does.

Needless to say I ended up in the situation where the relationship ended and do I live in an art studio with no shower or a house that has two cats.

Through that I ended up finding streaming and minded this was way way before Covid gen z wasn’t even a thing yet, if so y’all were just in the nut sack ir barely in the belly… (no offense)

I became decent at it, I understand it better than most editors and creators I see now oh my goodness hire me please is all I can look back on how I’ve learned and seen the rise of podcasts and shows now days.

I met another girl. FML

Met a woman and well we did good and alright I guess… but honestly we would be better friends than partners. We ended up through hell and back again. A lot learned and well regardless we just were not healthy together.

I learned a lot in my time alone after, maybe I just wasn’t ready for a relationship and perhaps we were still broken from past relationships or traumas.

I isolated and slowly hated everything I became. I was once so great and after Covid I’ve seen skillsets I could have monetized on; streaming, computers, networking, even just basic IT… 

Well here I am… another huge change, and this time for a little boy who I hope will forever at least be a little like me and forever call his dad “papa bear”